Resolutions

“Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman?  I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head.  You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in.  You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.  Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.  But to whom little is forgiven the same loves little.’”  (Luke 7:44, NKJ) 

Resolutions

It happened a long time ago, but I remember it well.  We were playing a really big game.  We were the underdogs.  It was one of those football games that you couldn't take your eyes off, sit down, or breathe.  Then with emotions building in the last minutes, we won the game.  Without thinking, I took off down the stairs, jumped the fence, and ran to congratulate the team and coaches. Suddenly a policeman stepped out of nowhere.  He said something like, “Now where do you think you’re going, young lady?  Go back out of here the way you came.”  I said something like, “I can't jump that fence!”

This reminds me a little of my experience with New Year resolutions.  I start out determined, motivated, and resolved.  Then after awhile when that wears off, there I am again.  Doing the very thing I hate, and hating the thing I do.  So I commit myself again and again.  Try harder. Suck it up.  Pull up my bootstraps.  Fail.  Over and over till I give up and feel guilty.

When I began getting sick, before we knew I had a mental disorder, I thought everyone could read my mind.  Can you imagine the things you might think or try not to think?  I wanted to hide.  I could not rationalize that my innermost thoughts were not visible to others.  I could not stop thinking that way.  It’s probably not as drastic as that for you, but I think we all have that nagging thing or that big thing which we would like to change.

Paul also had this problem, it seems to me.  He asked the Lord to remove a thorn in his flesh three times.    The Lord, instead, told Paul that His grace was sufficient for him.    But Paul’s ever present “thorn” did not mean that God was not doing a mighty work in him and through him. God’s concern was for the bigger picture.  His ways are not our ways.   God had given Paul a message.  It would have been very easy for Paul to have struggled with pride.  So God saw fit to humble him.  Paul, who seems to have been the most disciplined among his peers, could not get his life together, either. 

For those of us who have trusted our hearts and lives to Jesus Christ, He now lives in us.  If you have not done this, I invite you to do that right now.  Although believers still sin, when God looks at us, He sees us perfect.  We have the Spirit of God living in and through us.  We are one with Him.  We have opportunity to live in freedom because of the gospel.  Christ’s death and burial and resurrection paid for our sins.  We are forgiven.  Christ's righteousness becomes ours.  Some believe that means you can do whatever you want.  The question then is:  What do you want to do, now?

Jesus tells His own:  I already know all there is to know about you, and yet I have chosen you.  I won't judge you or condemn you.  You are mine.  I will not forsake you.  Nothing can separate us.  I am the best friend you will ever have.  You can rest in me and in my Father’s love.  I will carry you and your heavy load. 

Imagine Jesus saying:  “Let’s sit in the sunshine by the seashore and talk a while.  You can tell me about your innermost thoughts, your feelings, your fears, your doubts, your struggles and your joys.  I have experienced it all.   We could go fishing or take a ride in the boat.  Later on we might just be silent.  Take a walk together as the sun starts to go down.  Let’s just enjoy being together.”

Prayer: 

May we live in the freedom, forgiveness and closeness with you that you have already bought for us.  Lord, we are forgiven much.  We love much.  I pray that we live, rest, think, feel, and believe that the righteousness of Christ is ours, and His immeasurable love is for us.

Different Kind of Christmas

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love...These things I command you, that you love one another.”   (John 15:9-10, 17, NKJ) 

Every Christmas we have been together with our children.  This year after Thanksgiving, I began to hear the plans of my family, one by one.  This Christmas will take most of them in other directions besides to our home.  I knew all their plans were for the best this year, but I was waiting to fall apart and go through a major down spiral.  You know, the poor-me that I can slide into.  We are going to be with one daughter and our grandson, and that is so wonderful for us.  But with the rest of the family away and my husband planning to be out of town some, I pretty much saw myself going through the holidays alone.

I started thinking what that might look like.  Haven’t felt like reading—no concentration.  Haven’t been able to write—computer problems.  I haven’t bought presents.  The kids already have things in mind.  Haven’t put up a tree.  Don’t plan on cooking.  My grandson is going to grill for us.  Since my husband has been out of town, I decided to do some things that would make this year special, different, or unique.  So far, I have been with great friends and family, and have so enjoyed them, but I’ve been alone a lot too.  I hope to be with some women who might not have family with them on Christmas.   I prayed, “Lord, tradition is great, but Christmas really is about you.  I want to enter into rest in your presence.  In your love.”

Jesus tells us to abide in His love.  That is to dwell, live, breathe, move, be nourished.  To me it is like a little baby inside its mother’s womb.  She provides the baby’s every need.  The two are as close as they can possibly be.  The baby is inside the mother.  She surrounds herself around the child.   We are to be inside Jesus’ love.  He loves us as the Father loves Him.  How utterly amazing!

I have turned the lights down low.  Lit the candles throughout the room.  Placed the nativity figures just as I imagine they were on that glorious night.  Have a warm fire, and music softly playing to quiet my heart.  His presence is amazing.  I picture my Father letting me rest on His shoulder.  My Savior, as I kneel in front of Him and wash His feet with my tears, like a brother, reaches for me.   He whispers of His love for me in that still small voice.  In His presence I experience being loved, healed, strengthened, cleansed, renewed and reassured.  There I am whole.

There is no happier place to be than trusting in the one who is supreme and who controls everything.  To know your life is in His hands.  That He gives you rest in His gentle, meek, humble heart.  That He lives in you and His love is in you.  That you are in His love and nothing can separate you, ever.

After we first come into God’s love, may we then go and give that love to others.  Let’s give it to a love-hungry world whether inside your home, or beyond.  When we are in the presence of God we are so full of joy and love it has to go somewhere. 

May you have an abundant love and joy in this Different Kind of Christmas. 

Misfit

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.  But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.  She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.’  Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:   ^‘BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL,’ which translated means, ‘GOD WITH US.’”  Matt 1:18-23 (NASB95)

Do you ever feel alone?  Lonely?  Like you just don't fit in?   I do.  At times I feel like a total misfit.  You may feel you are the only one facing your situation.  Perhaps you have lost a mate?  Lost a child?  Maybe you struggle with a relationship or an addiction, or a mental or physical limitation.  You may be a single parent.  You may love someone who doesn’t love you.  Are you a single man or woman expecting a child and feel no one understands?  You could be far away from family and friends, or under financial stress.  A pilgrim in ministry?  Loving someone who doesn’t know Jesus?  Struggling with sin you just can’t get past?

I wonder if the mother and earthly father of Jesus ever felt like a misfit.  Mary had never been with a man, yet she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit.  Who would believe her?  What would people think and say?  The man she hoped to marry was thinking of leaving.  Young and alone, who would be there to help her?  Only she had heard the angel speak.  Troubled and afraid, she asked, “How will this be?”  The angel convinced her God was able to do all things.  All Joseph had to base his whole life on—his and Mary’s—was an angel in a dream.  What if he had made a mistake?  What would that mean?  He must have wondered:  Who am I to care for this baby born to save the world?  I don't know if I can do this.

  

What about Jesus?  The King of kings, whose kingdom would not end, was born far from home in a barn surrounded by dirt and smelly animals.  From the most humble of settings in the most humble of ways, a Savior?  He was expected but not like this.

Jesus’ family, religious leaders, and sometimes His followers, saw Him as a misfit.  But His desire was not to fit in.  It was to do the will of His Father. Not even one tribe welcomed Him.  He had no place to lay His head.  Through every temptation known to man, He remained without sin.  He did hang out with sinners, though.  Tax collectors, liars, thieves, prostitutes, and murderers.  Why?  Because He wanted them to get to know Him and His Father.  It was the thought of the separation that had never before been—separation from His Father—that made Jesus sweat blood.  Jesus knows well what it means to feel alone—to feel that you don’t fit in.  But He came to get us so we will never have to be alone.

Like Paul, I see myself as chief of all sinners.  I need to grow in knowing God and His love for me all the more. 

  

Prayer:

Lord, I pray we come celebrate and rest in that costly, beautiful love of yours and your Father’s.  Impress on our hearts that we are not alone.  That you are God with us.

(Note:  If you would enjoy just letting God wrap His arms around you in His love, think of beginning with music.  I have just purchased a l0-year-old girl’s (Jackie Evancho) recording of “O Holy Night.”  Two of the songs on the CD are opera but even my gospel-music-loving husband said he liked it.  Enjoy the words to the English songs, but just let the opera be a backdrop to enjoy God’s presence.)

Intimacy

“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me.  Make yourselves at home in my love.  If you keep my commands you’ll remain intimately at home in my love.  That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in His love.”

“I’ve told you these things for a purpose:  that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.  This is my command:  Love one another the way I loved you.  This is the best way to love.”  (John 15:9-12, The Message) 

Intimacy

Why do butterflies fly?

Why wouldn't God come to us in the most intimate of ways when His greatest sovereign plan of all time made provision for it?

Why do butterflies hunger to fly?

Why do stars hunger to hang in the sky?

Why do flowers hunger to bloom?

Why do babies cry and mothers meet their need?

Why do we become hungry within our bellies?

                            

God is reminding us of a greater hunger.  All these things are Him alluring us to the need only He can meet—the hunger of our soul.  The longing of our hearts.  Our craving for intimacy.  We may try to fill this need in many ways.  But it is only when our great desire for God (the desire which He planted within us) meets with His desire for us that our need for intimacy is met.  This happens through the Spirit.  The same Spirit who lives in God the Father, lives in the Son, and lives in us.

Why does part of our heart run for freedom from Him instead of running for freedom in Him?  Why do we love Him so imperfectly?  Why, as we are caught in this snare, does He persistently love us—the imperfect—so perfectly?  Why?  Because of His son, Jesus.  Because God gave the perfect one to love the imperfect ones, perfectly.  Why?  For His glory, so that we might share in this wondrous love that each person of the Godhead shares.  God’s perfect love has won, will win, and is winning the battle for our hearts and our affections.  He meets the hunger of our souls and hearts completely.  He is relentless.  At times you may be so filled with His love that you feel overwhelmed.  Nothing satisfies as fully as resting in His wondrous love for us.

Why do butterflies fly with air beneath their wings?

Why do the stars hang in the sky as from a string?

Why do flowers bloom before our very eyes? 

Why do mothers feed their young from their very own bodies?

Why do we hunger for God's love?

Because God placed a hunger for His perfect love within our hearts.

The same love the Father has for the Son, He has for us.   His love has won, will win, and is winning.  Because of a great battle that was fought at the cross, His love won for you and for me, quenching this thirst for an endless intimacy ...

God’s heart cries out, “Don't be afraid.  I will not reject you.  You may suffer but you are safe.  Your heart is safe with me.  Come close to me. You are mine. There is none like you.  Come be one with me as I, the Spirit, and my Son are one.” 

And so we are one.  As the sky has no end, let us explore the endless possibilities of this intimacy.  Let us be ruined by Him.  Captured by Him.  Let us let His perfect love invade us today, now, this very moment, for His glorious love ...  Intimacy.

Prayer

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we ponder the things of you day and night.  We long to grow in knowing you more.  O Spirit, work in our hearts to rid us of our independence and control.  Please, Lord, increase our trust in you and not ourselves.  Then give us your strength, your peace, your joy, yourself in our weakness.  Let us know the power, the resurrecting power that raised Christ from the dead, which lives in us, and bonds us together as one.  Fill us. Surround us with your mighty, gentle, unconditional love.  Jesus, we are seated with you, as you are with the Father, in the heavenlies.  Be alive in and through us in a mighty way. 

Written 2004—Revised 2010

Living Beyond Ourselves

  “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired   

   even of life.  Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that

   we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 

                                                                                                          2 Corinthians 1:8-9 (NIV)

I am visiting at my dad’s home as I write this.  Each time I have walked to his back yard, I can't help but notice two shrubs growing extremely close to each other. One is larger, but the two blend completely because they have been manicured to appear as one.  When I see this, I can’t help but think of how the Father is growing us into the likeness of His Son, Jesus.  I think He does this in as many ways as there are children of God.

I am sure you have heard these two statements:

               God helps those who help themselves.

                                                          

               God never gives us more than we can handle.

Sometimes you will hear people quote these statements as though they are taken from the Bible, but they are not.  There are verses similar in content, but they are specifically pointing us to dependence on God, not independence.

I think God always sets us on a path that proves to be more than we can handle.  I have heard this referred to as God’s glory.  He wants us to live beyond what we can do. 

To hear someone say, “I can’t do this any more,” it may make us think we should tell that person that he or she can, or it may make us want to try to fix that person or fix the circumstances.  But this sense of helplessness is, in fact, the first step towards losing trust in oneself. 

We must be broken from the illusion that we are to have control over people or things.  This brokenness often results when our seeming control of that person or thing fails.  This is God rescuing us from ourselves, bringing us to the end of ourselves.  It is in that sense of loss that we can fully look to God in faith, and trust, and in dependence for our very lives.  

The first time I began to see myself powerless to control was, for me, the hardest.  It was like taking my first step into a dark room, not knowing what would be ahead or behind me.  But this is when I began to learn to live by faith, when I knew that Christ would live through me.  We were one.  It’s when I began to see His compassion and love for others within me, and realized that I could love others with the same love with which He loves me.  Having been a very self centered, self reliant woman, this has given me hope about loving others.  Before, I was always the victim.  I was very controlling, in denial, and fully protecting myself from anyone or anything that might hurt me.  To love is to be risky.  To be one’s true self, allowing emotions to be felt—this is to live in the reality of who Christ is, and who I am in Him.

One of the greatest things that has happened to me in these last several years is to be associated with the mentally ill, and also with addicts.  I was silenced by their humility.   They know they need help beyond themselves.  They are honest about who they really are.  They are blessed by a community few of us know about.   I am reminded that the sick, the adulterer, the thief—those who recognized they were sinners—were not the ones who crucified Christ.  It was those who were socially acceptable and esteemed for their religious acts.   Remember, Christ died for the sinner, not for the righteous. 

Our distorted, dysfunctional beliefs about God hinder us from entering into intimate relationship with Father, Son, and Spirit.  But we can see God in the face of Jesus, so we know that He is not an angry god waiting to take out His anger on His children.  Neither is He absent.  He is just, but His wrath against sin was satisfied by Jesus on the cross, making the way for us to enjoy intimacy with God: Father, Son, and Spirit.  The more we enjoy being with God and receiving His love, the more we see ourselves as beloved, accepted children of the King, and the more we find ourselves living beyond ourselves.  It is there that we know true rest and peace.

Prayer:

Lord we seek you in the glow of your presence.  It is your love that enlightens us and changes us.  Help us to know you.  We receive your love.  Fill our hearts and minds with who you are.  Help us understand that we are fully loved and accepted.  Perfect love casts out all fear.  Melt our hearts and break us gently.  We come with our rejections, our sufferings and our doubts.  You have compassion on us.  You know how we feel because of the cross.  May we come to others with that same love and compassion you give to us.  We touch the hem of your garment and we are healed.

Image of Christ

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”    (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV)

The other morning as I began getting my breakfast, it was pitch dark outside.  But in a matter of seconds, beautiful colors of pink morning light began to appear.  I stopped and looked toward the light as the sun began to rise.  I could actually see its movement upward and outward, awakening creation.  I thought of God’s mercies, how they are new every morning.  

As the colors faded into the background, the brightness of the sun shone through.   The trees seemed to sift its rays, but they pierced through, lighting the whole room with the sun's glow.  I felt my face brighten.  Then I thought:  I wonder what Moses felt like as his face glowed with the glory of God from being in His presence? 

Wanting to grow in my own personal relationship with God, I have been on a quest, reading and talking to people about their intimacy with God.  It is so interesting to me, the different ways we seek God’s face, and how He has brought each one of us to that point.   Some see the Spirit bring Scripture into their relationship.  Others love to write, create, and listen.  Then there are those who see evidence of Him in His creation.  We might use prayer journals, meditate over devotionals about Scripture or the truth of God, or just be silent, praying for His presence and the assurance of His love. 

My times alone used to be consumed with study and words and theology.  This can be good but it does not mean you have met with God.  The knowledge has to move from the head to the heart.  Over the years the Spirit has taught me to pray in ways I never had before.  It has been out of my desperation of physical and mental weakness I have learned to speak less and listen more.  I still love to read and study but it is for the purpose of drawing me into the heart of God.

When I became aware of a serious physical problem, a friend of mine told me about a couple* she knew to be prayer warriors.  I asked if we might go see them, wanting the lady to pray over me.  I remember going to that very small, humble home.  As we entered, my friend introduced us and told about my situation. There was a Presence there.  Peace, joy—a peaceful joy.  It was as if the couple and the room glowed with the glory of God.   I thought the lady would say some lengthy prayer and maybe lay hands on me.  Instead she said something like:  “Lord, you know why we are here and we ask that you heal and protect her.”  That was it!   We thanked her and left.  I was stunned.  Her husband spoke to me on the way out.  Again, I was moved, seeing that this couple was different.  I wanted what they had.  They obviously walked with God.

Without having a name for it or an explanation, although I did have the Bible, I began to learn what it means to “pray without ceasing.”  Brother Lawrence talks about praying short prayers throughout his day of work washing dishes—praying sentence prayers.  Henri Nouwen in “The Way of The Heart” talks about heart prayers.  He says, “The prayer of the heart challenges us to hide absolutely nothing from God, and to surrender ourselves unconditionally to his mercy.”

As we pursue this kind of prayer we learn who we are, and it leads us into true relationship with God.  What is in the mind descends into the heart.  There, we can be in the continual presence of God where nothing separates us.  It might mean taking a verse you have read during the morning and then allowing the Spirit to bring it into your heart.  Something as simple as:  “The Lord is my Shepherd.”  You look to Him to lead and guide you all day long.  His heart speaks to your heart, turning your every thought into prayer.   There is a continual yielding or struggling, a sharing of our heart and receiving of His heart. The heart is the place where Christ dwells in us.  (See 2 Corinthians 13:5)  This is not a burden but a rest.  It is where compassion ministry begins. 

The more we are in His presence the more we are transformed into His image—the more Christ lives through us.  His glory is revealed in us.  This is not something we can do, but a promise that has been made to us.   In fact, our natural reaction is often to run away from God, not to Him.  We are preoccupied with self, our accomplishments, approval, guilt, shame, or reputation.  But God is continually calling us to be in His presence.  Our heart longs for that because His heart longs for it even more.  So as we persevere in seeking Him, that discipline of prayer without ceasing develops and we learn to walk in His love.  

Prayer:

God, to think that we are to continually be with you seems overwhelming.  But we look to you in faith, knowing that it is you who will bring this about in us as you call us to seek your face.  You will transform us into the image of Christ.  May we focus on you and your glory that is revealed in us.  Teach us this, I pray.

(*Note:  Charles and Thelma Duncan were truly a unique couple.  Anyone who met them walked away feeling like they had been in God's presence.  

Charles served in World War II carrying Thelma's picture in a Bible in his pocket, having asked her to wait for him.  But during a guard assignment on a demolitions train, the demolitions exploded causing him to suffer severe head trauma.  When he returned home, he and Thelma married as planned, and he became a pastor.  God gave them two sons and one daughter.  But, unfortunately, the long-term results of the injuries Charles had sustained caused flashbacks, tremendous ringing in his ears, sleeplessness, and night sweats.  He lived with intense pain.  Thelma was ever vigilant to her husband’s needs—ever his loving helpmate, spiritual soul mate, and tenacious prayer partner.

Charles’ final pastorate before retiring was in a relatively small Arkansas town.  Charles said that there were many nights he would go to the church after his family went to bed, lay himself over the altar and pray as Dwight Moody once did, that if God could use one man, he was willing to be that man.  God answered, giving Charles a vision to build a sanctuary to hold 3,000.  The townspeople thought he was misguided—that the area didn't support that size of congregational membership.  But his church followed his lead.  The sanctuary was built and God filled it.  It was truly a miraculous God-thing.

After retiring, the Duncans dedicated a room in their house as a prayer room.  They began posting pictures of the many people who requested their intercessions.  They lived their lives with an overriding, quiet confidence in God.  They never seemed distraught, although they often had serious prayer needs of their own, but were always sustained by a quiet confidence in God's control of their lives.